THE HARDER THE CONFLICT, THE MORE GLORIOUS THE TRIUMPH.

WHAT WE ATTAIN TOO CHEAPLY, WE ESTEEM TOO LIGHTLY;

IT IS ADVERSITY THAT GIVES EVERYTHING ITS VALUE.

 

-         Thomas Payne

When asked to name a few things that she values Sheila replied, “My life, my family, my job, my shiny red mustang convertible, my house, my friends, taking vacations….

If you were asked the same question what would you say? What do you value?

How many of the things you truly value did you have to work for?

How hard were they to come by?

How much adversity did you have to endure?

Was what you attained worth the effort?

According to Sheila, nothing came easy. She struggled, stumbled, got up and stumbled again. Her relationships were volatile, little money in the bank and her vision of the future bleak. What she had in abundance was passion, will and courage. With professional support, conversation and guided process, she did a lot of soul searching and went through a great deal of personal growth, gained new insights into her life, forged ahead when she was in dire straits, took small steps and kept her attitude in check.

In a breakthrough moment, one that put it all in perspective for her, Sheila realized that she would not change a thing from her past. What she endured she feels provided her with the skills the wherewithal, the need, the ability to make informed choices and the vision to see, reach and achieve anything she decided and truly wanted. Sheila noticed that she attributed little value to the things that came too easily or were literally handed to her.

Sheila is a mature woman who now knows how to manage what ever life throws her way and feels that she will make mistakes but she will never fail because there are no failures only learning opportunities, challenges to overcome and potentially that much more to value.

Sheila is an inspiration and a success in her own right.

~Lesia S.

“I FEEL LIKE NOBODY REALLY UNDERSTANDS ME AND I AM SO TIRED OF PLATITUDES AND ADAGES…YEAH RIGHT, THINK POSITIVE…”

John, an intelligent, hard-working, passionate man and personal coaching client quoted above, has been searching for answers to quandaries in his personal life and specifically within his personal and business relationships. He says that deep in his heart he has not been happy or fulfilled and feels angry as a result. Among other things, reading an enormous amount of literature and listening to notable speakers, friends and family share their wisdom on the betterment of life and specifically relationships, for him, has turned out to be more of a source of frustration and anger. He recognizes and is working on becoming more aware of what has specifically fueled his anger and how to take action to resolve it. In the process he has come to a “striking revelation” that what he frequently does, numerous times each day, is use sarcasm and make judgmental remarks about people in his life as well as himself.  He has decided to make it his intention to curb the sarcasm and judgment – something he now notices does not help him become the person he is striving to be and does not evoke the communication he is searching for in his relationships.

John is not alone. Anger, frustration, overuse of sarcasm and judging, often go hand in hand. Taking action is a key to creating more awareness and change.

A few questions to think about:
What are sarcastic or judgmental remarks?
How is excessive use of sarcasm and making value judgments damaging or putting strain on your relationships?
How do you feel when someone says to you or you think to yourself – “You should have done it this way, but you know everything” Or “That was a really smart thing to do, now you’ve really screwed up!” or “I’m such a moron, I don’t deserve to be happy!”
How often do you make similar comments in your everyday thinking and conversations with others?
What, if anything, is driving you to make demeaning or negative remarks about events, other people or yourself?
In what specific ways can it benefit you to manage it?
How could you make your point without the use of sarcasm or unnecessary judgment?
How do you think managing these kinds of remarks can improve how you feel about yourself, how people perceive you and how you perceive and communicate with others?
How willing are you to notice how you speak to and think about both yourself and other people?
Who can help you answer these questions, take steps and make changes?

After giving theses questions some thought and if you are so inclined, give it a whirl and see what you get. Once you begin to manage the ‘S and J’s,’ it will be interesting to see what transformations take place day to day.
It may not be easy at first but the payoff will be well worth the effort.

~Lesia S.

What is ‘it’?
It’s whatever pops into your head in the next few minutes.
It is what has been at the back of your mind that jumps to the front when you think about it a little.
It is what may be keeping you up at night.
It is perhaps what comes up in your conversations.
It is something you know would be good for you.
It is what may bring you fulfillment and happiness.
It is doing what you don’t want to say you should have done.

The ‘it’ can be anything:

Tell someone what you’ve wanted to say for a while.
Repair what needs fixing.
Move to finish what you started.
Confront what you’ve been avoiding.
Call for the help you want.
Make the change you’ve wanted to make.
Sign up to learn a new skill.
Take a leap of faith.
Smile more
Complain less
Be the change you want to see in the world.
Look at something from a new perspective.
See someone in a new light.
Practice what you preach.
Take the first step to break a habit.
Change an undesirable behavior.
Act on a dream.
Do what you fear.
Stand up for yourself.
Let someone off the hook.
Take a walk on the wild side.
Tame the wild side…

So what’s popping into your head?
What have you chosen to do today?

If you are one of the brave ones who decide to act on something today, remember to  celebrate your courage.

~Lesia S.

Life may sometimes feel like you’re on a horse riding fast and furiously along a narrow path that divides dense forest. Every so often there are breaks of open spaces and then more forest.  Metaphorically it might feel like you’re riding away from your past toward a future you hope will be worth the journey. The deep dense forest shields you from what lies ahead and makes you focus on the path before you. You continue to ride when suddenly you come upon fallen trees and brush strewn across your path. It forces you to ‘hold’ your horse and assess your options. What are your options at this point? Perhaps finding an alternate route is one or getting off your horse and clearing away some of the debris, might be another. You may decide to backtrack or wait for someone to come and help you create a clearing.

It’s easy to lament the past or worry and be anxious about the future but how do you manage the present?
What does the present hold for you? Where are you on your path? If your present symbolizes a barrier – perhaps one which is made up of feeling stuck at a crossroad in your personal or professional life or having a difficult decision to contend with or feeling anxious about future prospects or many other issues that arise over time – how do you manage to clear the way?

Look at the present as a 24hour period of time. How much of that time do you spend sleeping? Subtract your sleep time from 24 and that leaves you with x hours to work with.
How do you use this time productively? What if you were to make a list detailing all the things that have been preoccupying your thoughts, for example, procrastination, overcoming a habit, conquering a weight issue, feeling overwhelmed, feeling like you have too many unanswered questions that you want answered, confronted with a serious decision and so on…. What one thing on your list is the biggest stumbling block for you at this time, one that stops you from moving ahead in the direction you wish to go? In what direction do you wish to go? What makes you want to go there?
Once you’ve chosen one, decide on how much of x amount of time you would like to spend taking the steps necessary to “clear the way” and begin. This may mean talking to someone in search of answers or it may mean unpacking one of the many unpacked boxes…
What ever it is, even overwhelming situations or projects can be resolved or managed when divided into small ‘doable’ actions one step at a time on your own or with someone’s help.
Even the deepest, most dense brush can be cleared away in small sections at a time.

How do you think you will feel when you spend today and each day hereafter in the present clearing the way to the future you want?

Picture yourself, once again, riding fast and furiously on a horse, this time through a sparse forest with the suns rays shining through and then across a vast airy plain with rolling hills. You arrive at a ridge, stop and get off your horse. You take a slow sip of cleansing water and feast your eyes on a spectacular view, one that bestows you with serenity, peace and a sense of accomplishment.

~Lesia S.

What role does laughter play in your life?
How often do you laugh?
When was the last time you had a good laugh, one that brings a few tears, a deep breath and relaxing sigh at the end?
What can laughter do for you?
What can it do for those around you?

For many, laughter is a part of who you are. It is a value without which you could not feel whole. If that’s true, how could not getting enough of it be affecting you subliminally? Have you ever noticed how laughter is used sometimes as a ‘magic pill’ to soothe the complexities of life and help you move forward in some situations?

Think back to the last time you had a good laugh.
What were you doing?
Who were you with?
What made you laugh?
How did you feel after you stopped laughing?

Life creates obstacles that take up time, thought and energy to resolve. How could laughter help?
Laughter is like exercise for the soul. It can create a meditative release, a kind of break, a feeling of letting go that may open your mind to perhaps a refreshed outlook on a situation at hand, a new perspective or at the very least, a feel good moment.

Think about this – what specifically would stop you from having a laugh a day if you knew it would make you feel a lot better overall?

Studies have shown that laughter boosts the immune system, increases the level of endorphins released in the body much like exercise and lowers blood pressure to name just a few benefits.

There is only one way to find out what a laugh a day can bring. What can you lose?

And, if you want to see how just a simple smile affects others, wear one on your face next time you’re out and about and watch people’s reactions. While you’re at it, notice how it makes you feel too.

~Lesia S.

To all my brave friends may the words spoken by Theodore Roosevelt comfort, inspire and help you forge ahead with renewed strength and hope.
And may the same words inspire the “critic’ in you to understand and act with courage.

It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is not effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself for a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat. 

                        Theodore Roosevelt

~Lesia S.

    A Winner’s Creed

      If you think you are beaten, you are;
            If you think you dare not, you don’t;
            If you’d like to win, but think you can’t,
               It’s almost a cinch you won’t.
           For out in the world we find
        Success begins with a fellow’s will;
               It’s all in the state of mind.
          If you think you’re outclassed, you are;
              You’ve got to think high to rise.
         You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
            You can ever win a prize.
        Life’s battles don’t always go
        To the stronger or faster man;
               But soon or late the man who wins
             Is the man who thinks “I can”.

                          Walter D. Wintle

What do you think?

~Lesia S.

Here are a variety of questions to consider, keeping the goal of Making Mom Happy on Mother’s Day in mind. You know yourself and your own mother better than anyone. Trust that the right questions will resonate with you.

What does my mother mean to me?
What do I want her to know?
How do I want to make her feel?
What do I think she’d really like?
What would she really like?

What can I buy her that will make her happy?
What is a feasible price point for me?

Knowing mom, how will she feel if I spend money I don’t have?
How will I feel if I buy her something knowing it will put me into greater debt?
How else can I acknowledge her and show her what she means to me?

What can I do for her?
What can I say to her?
What can I write?
What are some of my fondest memories with her?

How would asking her for forgiveness or forgiving her be a gift and move our relationship in a new direction?
What can we do together to create new memories?

What does my mother do for me that I can show her I noticed and I can thank her for?

~Mothers do the best with what they know, what they can and with all they have at any given time. On this day and everyday, acknowledge her, love her and know that doing so will be as much a gift to you as it is to her.

                Have a Special MOTHER’S DAY this Sunday!

~Lesia S.

~What can courage and change do for you?

“I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I couldn’t fail.
    The same four walls and busywork
         Were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before,
    But I stayed inside my comfort zone and
        paced the same old floor.

I said it didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing much.
I said I didn’t care for things like diamonds, cars and such,
    I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,
   But deep inside I kept longing for some victory of my own.

I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win
        I held my breath and stepped outside
           to let the change begin.

I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before,
    I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and
        closed and locked the door.

If you are in a comfort zone afraid to venture out,
        Remember that all winners at one time were filled with
       similar doubt. A step or two and words of praise can
make your dreams come true. Greet your future with a smile –
          success is there for you”

                        Author Unknown

~Lesia S.

Why mother? What words come to mind when you think of ‘Mother’ and how does ‘Mother Earth’ compare?

Please feel free to explore your own personal thoughts. Here are some of mine:

Mother  - Comfort, Compassion, Sacrifice, Fun, ‘The Rock’, Mentor, Motivator, Unconditional love, Forgiving, Wise, Nurturing, Protector, Loving, Soothing, Creative, Accommodating, Reliable, Dependable, Hardworking, Resourceful, Teacher, Caregiver, Committed, Patient, Dedicated, Provides safety, Champion, My Life…

Mother Earth –
Comfort – She offers a comfortable place to live and the necessities of life
Compassion – Shows compassion even when we take her for granted
Sacrifices her energy, needs and beauty to provide for the demands of her children
Fun – Offers settings like forests, lakes and mountains to frolic in and play with
The Rock – Without her, where would we be?
Mentor – Advises us when to proceed with caution
Motivator – Brings light after darkness for renewed hope
Unconditional love – Takes what we put out, yet keeps on giving
Forgives us for dragging our feet
Wise – Shows us that actions have consequences
Nurturing – Grows our food
Protector – Provides natural shelters and wind breaks
Loving – Warms our hearts with her creations
Soothes what ails us with medicinal hot springs and rainforests
Creates breathtaking views
Accommodating – Heals, restores and makes way for new growth
Reliable – We tend to feel that we can fully rely on her
Dependable – She has always been there for us
Hardworking – Never stops washing, growing, mending….
Resourceful - Constantly adapts to the changes she is faced with
Teacher – Informs us and provides us with insights, which then evolve into new learning
Caregiver – Protects us until we come of age and must assume all responsibility
Committed – Will do for us as much as we are willing to do for ourselves
Patient – Believes that with time and patience, her children will come through
Dedicated – Doesn’t give up on us. Permits us to make mistakes, learn from them and knows that we will make things right
Provides safety – She is the ‘safe place’ in the entire universe
Champion – As long as she is here for us, there is nothing that we cannot do
My Life – She gives us life.

I for one, acknowledge Mother Earth for her patience and fortitude in all that she creates and continues to provide for my loved ones, my friends and myself.
I commit from this day forward to honour her each and every day by mindfully and intentionally making choices that will nurture, restore and prolong her life for generations to come.
If you feel as I do, join me in making a difference starting today, if you haven’t already.

 ~Lesia Saplywyj