If you’re facing an issue that involves having to make a pivotal decision and you find yourself at a crossroad, how do you proceed?
How much time are you spending thinking about it?
Which of the following comes close to describing how you feel?
“I feel frustrated because I don’t know where to begin.”
“I fear how the decision I make will affect my future.”
“I’m stuck.”
“I have friends and family who have been in similar situations that are helping me sort through things, but I still feel like I’m not seeing everything. I’m not at ease.”
“I feel overwhelmed – so many questions are popping into my head.”
“I don’t know what to do and feel very much like everything rests on my shoulders.”
“I am putting off thinking about it.”
“I’ve decided to give up on it, I don’t see how it will work but something continues to haunt me.”
Making difficult choices or forming value judgments will have either positive or negative consequences. They will impact you and those around you in some way – and for some time to come. So you will likely want to be sure that what you do or say will come from a place of clarity and peace of mind – which comes from knowing what you need to know, deciding what you want and then taking action.
Feeling that clarity and peace of mind can be likened to what a member of a jury might have to feel before announcing a verdict. The guided process leading up to a jury’s final decision consists of gathering fact-based evidence and presenting that evidence where it is heard and may be countered with further evidence.
Imagine for a moment that you are a jury member and there is evidence brought forth that casts doubt in your mind. Until that doubt has been put to rest, how do you feel?
How would you feel if the other members of the jury were ready to pronounce judgment before the evidence was all in or if you personally saw holes in the testimony? How would the uncertainty of being left with unanswered questions and being aware of what’s at stake play out in your mind? What would you need in order to feel at peace with your final decision on the matter?
At times it may feel like you’re in the midst of a trial because the decision you have to make feels like it will change your world or someone else’s in one way or another. Gathering evidence and gaining clarity when making a personal decision, often translates to understanding all the facts surrounding feelings, thoughts and beliefs – of all parties concerned.
A professionally guided process is key to feeling like you have thoroughly weighed all the ‘evidence’.
Know the facts – not “hearsay” – so that you may, without reasonable doubt, state your verdict on any matter and release from your shoulders, the burden of prolonged inquiry, guilt or indecisiveness. Make resolutions and choices that you can live with.
~Lesia S.
