Here is Cilia’s story.

Cilia is a middle-aged woman who is on a new path in her life. She is building a career as a financial advisor and must overcome many obstacles in the process. Some of her struggles include self-doubt and fear, which plagues most people as they move through the process of taking action, learning and reflecting, while on their path to success in any career endeavor.

At this time however, Cilia has another obstacle to deal with. She finds herself struggling to let go of conflicting feelings regarding her former husband. In her mind, Cilia knows that everything has been done and there is nothing more that she can do to help him work through his demons and addictions which was what ultimately ended their marriage.
Her heart however cannot help but feel the love they once shared and remember the qualities in him that she fell in love with. She worries for his safety and his life. She struggles with how to talk to her children about their father. He has uncharacteristically disconnected from them. She worries what impact all this will have on their emotional well being. She also notices that this personal conflict is getting in the way of her performance at work.
Cilia’s head is telling her to stay away from him because she knows from past experience and failed choices that it could be dangerous and likely to turn into a bad situation.
Her heart is telling her to go to him and show him that she still cares for his well-being and that the children need their father.

If you were in a similar struggle where your head was telling you one thing and your heart was telling you another, what would you do?

Every day decision-making can present a similar conflict between your head and your heart e.g. letting your underage son go to a party where you know alcohol will be served. Your head is telling you that he could get into trouble and your heart says that you trust him or your head says you trust him and your heart is saying he may conform to peer pressure. 

Consider the following questions as a starting point:

What are the circumstances surrounding the situation that is making you feel the conflict at this time?
What do you have control over?
What is at stake?
What would put your mind and heart at ease?
What can you live with?

~Lesia S.

Examples:  A friend responds to a statement. You misinterpret their response and insult them. An opportunity comes up and you fail to act. A friend of yours is being ridiculed and you don’t come to his or her defense.

One mistake, a failure to act or a bad choice and you label yourself a “jerk”, a “failure”
a “wimp”.

An attempt to get a date is unsuccessful, and you say, “I will never get a date” or “I’ll always be a loser when it comes to love.”

When you generalize, you are concluding based on one specific incident.

What assumptions are you making when you come to these conclusions?

What happens when you combine generalizations for example; “I couldn’t get a date, so no one will ever want me, so I must be a…”?

How can this kind of distorted thinking become an obstacle to you moving forward in your life and prevent you from achieving the results you want?

~Lesia S.
 

The law of averages says that if you persist long enough you will succeed.

Don’t quit when the tide is lowest,
For it’s just about to turn;
Don’t quit over doubts, questions,
For there’s something you may learn.
Don’t quit when the night is darkest.
For it’s just a while to dawn;
Don’t quit when you’ve seen the farthest,
For the race is almost won.
Don’t quit when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost nigh;
Don’t quit, for you’re not a failure
Until you fail to try.

Jill Wolfe

A lifetime consists of many journeys.
Success comes at the end of a journey not the beginning.
Who’s to say how many failures, detours or mistakes must occur before you succeed.
How many journeys have you embarked on and then given up?
How close were you to achieving success?
What made you give up?
How much did you want to succeed?
What would you have done if you knew that persistence would absolutely lead you to success?
How do you know what’s just around the corner on your journey if you don’t keep taking the next step?

~Lesia S.

My friends,

Whether you’re a woman or man today marks a time to reflect on how women have influenced your life and what choices you have made in your relationships with them.

What is the first thought that comes to your mind when you acknowledge IWD?

How will you celebrate its meaning? What does it mean to you?

In what positive ways has a woman changed or influenced your life?

Upon self-reflection, what has been the tone of your existence as a woman or in a relationship with a woman, until now?

As you further self- reflect, what is one positive change that you wish to make starting today that will improve the quality of your existence?

 *What have you learnt about yourself that you want to acknowledge.

One year from today on international women’s day, when you reflect on the year gone by, what specifically will you have accomplished that you set out to do?

As you move forward, what is the tone you want your life to take?

What will you say about yourself in one year?

What positive role will you play in a woman’s life?

~Lesia S.

      Often, people attempt
        to live their lives backwards.
         They try to have more things,
              or more money,
          in order to do more of what they want
            so that they will be happier.
         The way it actually works
                is the reverse.
        You must just be who you really are,
            then do what you need to do,
         in order to have what you want.                        
                          Margaret Young (Stafford) (1892-1969)

Getting clarity on the fabric of who you really are opens the door to a world of possibilities that you may have never thought to explore.

Consider this:

How would you ‘be’ if nobody was looking and nothing was holding you back?
What does the word ‘being’ mean to you?
Who are you as an individual?
If you were being who you really are, what would you be doing?
How would you feel if your ‘being’ and ‘doing’ were in harmony?

 *One of the greatest gifts that you can give yourself is to live your life authentically.

Undoubtedly, the task of capturing your authenticity can however be a daunting one when you try on your own. It may sometimes take a lifetime of searching and following paths that lead to dead ends before you make any headway.

Cease the moment. You’re worth more than you think and life for you is just about to get better.
~Lesia S.